Hope Hurts: Down But Not Out

Well, things haven’t been working out exactly as we hoped.  The new hearing aids came in and it turns out they were only great in the audiologist’s sound proof room.  Out in the real world, they’re pretty much useless to me.  They’re probably fabulous for other people; I can see that the features are wonderful, they work beautifully and they do what they’re supposed to do.  But my hearing is too far gone for me to benefit from them. The hearing aids are wonderful – I’m the problem.  What’s that old line? It’s not you, it’s me.  And it’s really me.  I’m not happy with me right now.


I didn’t want to try the new hearing aids at first. Everyone told me they’re my only other option besides the Starkey aids and I was afraid if these don’t work, I’ll have no options and that will be the end of my hope.  Well, the Starkey aids have been so unreliable, I didn’t want to think this was it forever.


The Phonak aids have great features and so many improvements, even a nifty remote control that let me do more with them than the switch on the aid itself.  It was time.  I’ve been doing so poorly with the Starkey aids – they were breaking all the time  even after being replaced and fixed (several times on the repairs) and they still beep and cut out for no reason.  The idea of being stuck with them forever was depressing so I agreed to try the Phonaks.

There is a three month trial, but I don’t think I’ll make it the whole way. It’s just too uncomfortable.  I keep hoping with each day that passes, I’ll get more used to them and things will improve, but so far it hasn’t happened.  Disappointment is an understatement.


This is what I was afraid of.  That I’d try the only other option and it wouldn’t work for me.  Then I would be stuck with the Starkey aids I hate so much until there’s no point wearing them, either.  I’m almost at that point – they’ve been talking about a cochlear implant for awhile now, but I’m just not ready to consider that.  I’ve researched it as thoroughly as I can and right now, it’s not for me.


I’ll fight for every second more I can get out of any hearing aids, no matter how little they do, no matter how bad they might be.  I’ll fight for every drop of sound I can get.  I may be down, but I’m not out.