I was pretty depressed when I wrote my last entry because I thought I had no options – I certainly didn’t have any on paper. But I’ve learned something: Life isnt always the way it appears to be on paper. I forgot something important too – never, and I mean NEVER give up hope. Here’s what happened:
I went to my audiologist and she spent over an hour reprogramming the Phonak hearing aids. I could tell they weren’t going to work out for me, but agreed to give them another try. In the meantime, she brought in the Widex and the Siemans, which weren’t supposed to work for me. On paper, they didn’t meet my needs. Nothing did. If the Phonak aids didn’t work, nothing should. But what did we have to lose by trying, was our thinking.
So before I left with the re-programmed Phonaks, which were still sounding awful to me, we decided to quickly try the Widex. After all, I used to have good experiences with Widex before my hearing loss hit rock bottom, so let’s see how they sound now. We put them in my ears and it was like someone turned the world right side up again! Now the Widex are on, off or telecoil – no programs to choose from, no Bluetooth, no bells and whistles.
Without any fancy programming, without any extra features, sound was so much improved, I cried. All of a sudden I wasn’t struggling to read lips again. I wasn’t making anyone repeat a million times. I was reading like I did two and a half years ago before getting the Starkey hearing aids! (I didn’t even realize until now how much the Starkey aids muffled the sounds!) Sound was sharper, there was no echo, the noise wasn’t overwhelming, and all my hope came rushing back. Don’t get me wrong – I can’t hear again. That will never happen. But I got enough sounds to read well again. It makes all the difference in the world.
“Can I try the Siemans too?” I asked. “I don’t have time to program them now, so why don’t we wait until your next appointment for that,” she said. “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease,” I begged. “I just want to see if they sound similar to the Widex because they have the bells and whistles that could really enhance my life!” We tried the Siemans and the sound was very similar to the Widex. Not quite as sharp, but they can be programmed and very fine tuned. They may be what I’ve been praying for.
We ordered the Siemans and I’m getting them tomorrow. And guess what? She decided to let me use the Widex so I could have a better life while waiting for the Siemans to come in. This week has been so much better for me communication-wise than the past two and a half years have been. And the best thing is, I know if the Siemans don’t work for any reason, I can have the Widex. Two options from none. I’d say it was a miracle.
And, with that, I’m going to leave you with this little poem I’ve always lived by and forgot to remember. The author is unknown:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.