So on January 28th, I’m starting my first cataract surgery. I’ll be having it done on both eyes.  I know, I know, to most people it’s not a big deal.  Almost everyone I know has had it done or will have it done soon, in fact.  Yeah yeah, it’s a 15 minute procedure and it’s simple.  I get it. But it IS surgery and there are risks.  Not huge risks, but it’s huge if it happens to you.  Risk of serious infection that can cause loss of vision, risk of retinal detachment which if not treated soon enough can cause loss of vision, bleeding… you get the idea.

Rationally I know I have a good surgeon and it’s more likely that nothing bad will happen, my eyes will heal, we’ll probably need lower wattage bulbs in our house, and that’ll be the end of it.  Emotionally, I can’t help but wonder “what if?”  What if something happens to my vision?  I don’t have ears as backup.  I don’t have hearing to keep me going.  I totally rely on my eyes and my vision isn’t all that great to start.  I need my eyes to read lips.  My eyes are my ears.  What if I have neither?

Of course the noble and notable heroine Helen Keller comes to mind.  If she could do what she did, what am I worried about?  But I don’t know if I have her courage.  I know I’ve been strong up until now, but I’ve had something to hold onto.

But this isn’t an  “oh gee I feel sorry for me” blog.  It’s more like a wondering out loud blog.  Will I get more than I can handle? Will I be able to handle what I get?  Will I still have green eyes?  I’ll try to post before the surgery but stay tuned.